so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
