i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize