Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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