your parents love me but you hate me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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