Who did Billy Mays play for?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
