If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think my vagina is haunted
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
