Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
