I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my being single is dangerous.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
