I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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