dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
