If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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