Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
