jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
