Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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