I just made out with a guy for $7.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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