i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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