the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
