Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You are a genius and a whore.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
