he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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