i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
