just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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