I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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