Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize