I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
