I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
