She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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