So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
