Where is the hickey?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
