would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
