Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
