I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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