Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
