mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
