Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize