idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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