I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize