You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize