Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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