covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
