yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
