I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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