the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize