yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
