You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
