I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
