Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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