i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
