you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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