its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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