The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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