It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
