Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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