brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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