I accidentally had phone sex last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
