I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize