ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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