I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
