Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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