Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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