where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
