I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
