coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize