every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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