I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
