so explain again why im purple
no
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
