You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
