Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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