So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
