when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we're making bets on your personal life
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
