Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
